Workplace romance or a career risk? What an office affair can cost

From comfort and chemistry to secrecy and career fallout, the workplace remains one of the most common places to fall in, and out, of love. And the recent Astronomer CEO scandal has sparked a wave of discussion.

Workplace romance is nothing new. In fact, it’s been a staple in pop culture for decades. Remember Jim and Pam in The Office, or Mulder and Scully in The X-Files. The thrill of the slow burn, the “will-they-won’t-they” tension—Hollywood loves it, and apparently, so do we in real life.

While it might seem like office romances are rare or taboo, the data says otherwise. According to a 2024 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), 33 per cent of American workers have been involved in a workplace romance, up from 27 per cent pre-pandemic. And attitudes are shifting too: A striking 75 per cent of US. workers say they’re comfortable with colleagues dating each other.

But behind the statistics and romanticised storylines lies a more nuanced truth: office romances are messy, emotionally complex, and often deeply disruptive.

Three main factors drive workplace relationships, according to survey respondents:

Comfort and familiarity

65 per cent of employees say comfortability is the key driver. Being around someone every day, sharing challenges, wins, and the occasional after-hours rant—emotional intimacy grows naturally.

Lack of time to meet people outside of work

61 percent said their packed schedules left little room to form connections beyond the office.

Shared professional experience

38 per cent found common ground in understanding each other’s work pressures, goals, and environment.

But what starts with emotional closeness and proximity can blur into something else, especially when late nights, business travel, and adrenaline-fueled deadlines become the norm. In fact, 85 per cent of extramarital affairs begin at work, according to data compiled by Good Therapy.

You might assume it’s mostly junior staff getting romantically entangled. But nearly 40 per cent of workplace affairs involve executives or company owners, says SHRM. Another 26 per cent of workplace relationships involve mid-level management, and 25 per cent involve intermediate employees.

In short, office romance doesn’t respect hierarchy—it permeates it.

The disclosure dilemma

The “should we tell HR?” question is the new Shakespearean dilemma of modern relationships. The lines are blurry:

Is one email enough?

Do married employees need to disclose their affair before they’ve told their spouses?

Is one dinner date worth a formal report?

35 per cent of employees in office relationships choose not to report it at all, often due to fear of judgment, workplace gossip, or complications with management. And for good reason—40 per cent of workplace romances involve cheating on an existing partner, which brings its own ethical (and emotional) chaos.

Here’s what the data reveals about how workplace romance affects life on the job, according to GoodTherapy, an online mental health resource platform.

In many cases, the romance starts strong, but the emotional aftermath of a breakup lingers well beyond the relationship. Fear of professional repercussions after a breakup increases by 17 per cent among those dating a colleague.

More than just logistics, workplace relationships can chip away at one’s individuality and sense of professionalism. Over 50 per cent of employees said that dating someone at work altered how they saw themselves—and how others perceived them.

It becomes harder to draw the line between you as a professional and you as someone’s partner, especially when colleagues start seeing you as a duo rather than two individuals. This can lead to social isolation, loss of opportunities, and unnecessary scrutiny—especially for women in male-dominated fields.

Despite the risks, some relationships do work out. The data shows that you’re over twice as likely to marry a coworker as someone you met on a dating app. That’s right, 43% of workplace romances have led to marriage.

But the key is intentionality and clarity. If handled maturely, with transparency, communication, and clear boundaries—a workplace relationship doesn’t have to be a career death sentence. It just has to be approached with emotional intelligence and respect for professional ethics.

The truth is, workplace romances are happening whether companies condone them or not. Instead of denying or shaming them, HR teams should focus on managing risk and setting clear expectations through updated policies and open communication.

Some tips:

Ultimately, it’s not about policing feelings—it’s about protecting everyone involved.

So if you fall for someone across the cubicle—just make sure you go in with open eyes, clear boundaries, and a plan for what happens if the fairy tale ends.

In the workplace, love may be personal, but its consequences never are.